Of Love and Lies
by TwilitLife08
Summary: My name is Jennifer Snape, but all my friends call me Jen. Before you get ahead of yourself, no, I'm not married to Severus Snape. That would be disgusting. Because he's my father. AU Not DH Compliant. Please R/R
1. Welcome To My Life

**My name is Jennifer Snape, but all my friends call me Jen. Before you get ahead of yourself, no, I'm not married to Severus Snape. That would be disgusting. Because he's my father. AU Please RR**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Except Snape ****J …. Ok, ok, so maybe J.K. Rowling does own Snape, but I can dream cant I? **

**It was another usual day in my life. Wake up, eat breakfast, study, eat lunch, and then wish my life was different until whichever one of my parents arrived home first. Most people would consider me lucky to have both parents, and I guess in a way, I am. But life isn't exactly easy when both of your parents are spies. **

**My dad has been a spy the longest. Severus Snape. So-called "Death Eater", and current potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Coincidentally, the school my parents are refusing to let me attend. I'm being "home schooled" because it would be "dangerous" for me to be in a place where I am so "easily accessible". What the hell ever. Even the REAL death eaters' kids go to Hogwarts. Dad really was a death eater at one point long, long ago, but I guess when he stopped and looked around he realized how horrible it all was. **

**Mom is a spy as well. Sarah Snape. She is the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts. Strangely enough, everyone knows they are married, but no one wonders why I don't attend school there. Aside from Uncle Dumbledore and Aunt Minerva. And of course the death eaters. They all inquired about it long ago. Mom and Dad told Voldemort that they didn't want me going to school with muggleborn scum. They told Uncle Dumbledore and Aunt Minerva the truth, and of course they sided with me, saying they thought it would be a good thing for me. The general public believes that I prefer to be home schooled. As if. **

**I flat out hate my life. I can't have any real friends, kind of hard to do when your parents are in the business of espionage. The death eaters' kids are "friends" but I really can't stand most of them. And I can't attend Hogwarts where I'm sure I would meet real friends. **

**If I had to say so myself, I think I'm pretty average in appearance. I got my mom's blue eyes, and my dad's dark hair, though I take better care of mine. I'm not very pale, nor am I tan. More in the middle I guess. Intellectually however, I'm quite different from most people my age. I have been a master occlumens since I was 11. Not that I had any choice. It was a necessity that I learned to keep others out of my mind. **

**My parents are really on the good side of this war, and if the dark side ever found out, it would be a certain death for all of us. It was a bit of a liability for me to know this, so my father made me learn occlumency.**

**I hate having to pretend. It makes me sick to my stomach. Sometimes it's necessary for my parents to have meetings at our house on spinners end, and of course I have to be cordial and greet all of the disgusting people they are entertaining that evening. The worst by far is Bellatrix Lestrange. She is truly demented and for some reason, though she not-so-secretly hates my parents, she adores me. Tells me how I will be such a good servant to the dark lord, and how I'm going to follow in Auntie Bella's (her nickname, NOT mine) footsteps. Times like these are the ones I'm thankful for a strong gag reflex. I'd fling myself off the astronomy tower tomorrow, no questions asked, if I thought I was going to turn out like her. **

**So I have already checked off everything on my to do list today, aside from wishing my life was different. Because I have an even better plan for that time today. I can't wait to see the look on my mothers face when she gets then owl from the bank informing her that I took 100 Galleons out of my savings account. Tonight will be… interesting. **

**A/N: I know this was a short chapter but it's really just a test run. This story has been floating around in my head for quite some time. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks! **


	2. A New Wind

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize… Unfortunately.

After my trip to Gringotts, I went to a few necessary places in Diagon Alley. Madam Malkins, Flourish and Blotts, and the apothecary. That's right, I have decided that I am going to Hogwarts this year whether my parents like it or not. Uncle Dumbledore said he would allow me as long as I worked it out with mom and dad. Little did he know I planned on doing no such thing. I'm going to tell them that I am going to Hogwarts or I will run away. A bit juvenile I know, but I refuse to back down on this one. I _will_ be at Hogwarts. End of discussion.

I got plenty of curious looks while going through Diagon Alley. People weren't used to seeing me out without my parents. Though most people don't like Dad anyway. They believe that he really is Voldemort's loyal servant. For some reason no one has ever questioned Mom's loyalty though.

Lost in my musings, I began to walk past Knockturn Alley, when suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed me, pulling me into the alley. My wand was out in a split second, and my elbow made sharp contact with someone's stomach. "Jenny, clam down, Auntie Bella didn't mean to scare you", Bellatrix said mockingly.

"Oh, sorry, Aunt Bella." I mumbled with my best attempt at a sincere smile. I prayed silently that she had no "Fun Events" to tell me about today. For some reason she seemed to enjoy telling me about all of the people she tortured and murdered. It made me feel physically sick, and after these encounters my Dad usually has to brew me dreamless sleep potions for a week.

"No problem my dear," she replied in a sickly sweet tone. "Where are you parents? Off playing the great fools lapdogs, no doubt. Did you sneak out, my little protégé?" I had to force myself not to wince, as she called me her protégé.

"Yeah, I was just tired of sitting at home. I have just been wandering around for a little while… You know killing time. I couldn't bear to be cooped up in that filthy muggle neighborhood another second." I forced myself to say the word muggle as if it were a disease. Just another part of the charade called life, but I still hated the way I sounded.

"Yes. Why not come to Borgin and Burkes with Auntie? You can help me plan out my next attack. There's a muggle family I have been looking to torture for quite some time now. Maybe you could help plan," she said, her voice sounding hopeful, and a malicious smile on her face.

"Wow, I'd love to, but my parents will be home for the weekend soon. So I really should get back." I was beginning to feel uneasy, and I could feel Bellatrix trying to get inside my mind. I built up the walls surrounding my true thoughts and feelings, leaving only the ones it was safe for her to see unprotected. If I blocked her out completely, it would lead to a lot of suspicious questions.

"Fine. But we will make plans for another day. Perhaps it could be a girls day of sorts," she said cackling. "Run along now dear Jenny. Auntie Bella will be sure to let you know about all of the fun I'm going to have with the filthy little muggles. Maybe I will take a few photos for you." And with that she strode down Knockturn Alley, headed in the direction of Borgin and Burkes.

I all but ran back into Diagon Alley. I needed to get home now. Before I fell apart. I could feel my shrunken bags in the pockets of my robes as I walked through the Leaky Caldron, and hailed the Knight Bus. I was home in 10 minutes, and had just enough time to get to the bathroom. It made me sick to my stomach to know that any day now, muggle news papers would be reporting a family brutally murdered. Bellatrix had recently taken a liking to torturing children. The thought made me sick all over again. I lay down on the tiled floor of the bathroom, pressing my cheek against it's cool and inviting surface. The sound of children screaming filled my mind, and then everything went black.

* * *

"Jen, Jennifer, wake up!" Everything was hazy. I could make out the sound of my father calling my name. Then my mind registered the fact that he was gently shaking me as well. I ran through the course of the day in my mind. Diagon Alley, my run in with Bellatrix, the Knight Bus, but what happened next?

I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. My dad was leaning over me looking worried, and behind him I could make out the wallpaper from our bathroom. It all came back in a rush. Getting sick, laying on the floor, the horrible nightmare.

"Jen? Jen, are you okay? What the hell happened today?" Anger was beginning to outweigh concern, as the dominant emotion on his face.

I sat up feeling only slightly nauseous. "Where's Mom? I thought you were both coming home. It's Friday." Confused, I tried to remember if today was Friday, or if that had just been a part of the nightmare.

"Your mother will be home shortly. Semester starts on Monday, so one of us had to be present for the staff meeting. But that is irrelevant at the moment. What did you do today, Jennifer?"

I rolled my eyes, and got to my feet. "Can we wait for mom to get home? I don't feel like having the same argument twice." I sighed and walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to get a mug and make some tea. My father glared at me, as I strode past him, but I ignored him. I wasn't one of the idiots he complained about having to teach, and I most certainly wasn't going to let him intimidate me.

It wasn't long before my mother came busting through the front door. I was sitting in the kitchen, and she came in and pulled out a chair. Dad followed behind her, pulling out the chair beside hers. "Jennifer Marie Snape," I winced as she threw in my middle name. She was far more pissed than I had anticipated. "What in Gods name have you done? You took 100 galleons out of your savings account! You _know_ that money is for university. Or to help you when you come of age. Whatever you decide to do with it, you know your not supposed to touch it until you turn 17. Its for your education!"

"Mom, clam down, don't have a hippogriff. I _am_ using that money for my education. I used it to buy school supplies. Because I'm going to Hogwarts this year." I stared her down across the table, refusing to back down.

"Jen, no. The answer is no, absolutely not! Do you think this is some kind of joke? Why don't you take things seriously? You know that you cant go to Hogwarts its not safe. Not for you." I took a deep breath and counted to three. I was getting tired of this whole song and dance.

"Mom that's a load of dragon dung and we both know that. There is no place in the world safer than Hogwarts. You both gallivant off to work every day and leave me in the house all by myself. I'm not a child in case you haven't noticed! Then again your never home, so maybe you haven't noticed," she looked stung by my remark, and attempted to interrupt me but I wasn't having that. "Mom I _had_ to grow up before my time! I couldn't have a childhood, because you and dad are too busy playing James Bond everyday! While other kids played Gob stones and Wizards Chess, I learned defensive spells and studied occlumency. You cant have it both ways mom. And if you refuse to let me go to Hogwarts, then I will be gone before the sun comes up."

I was on the verge of tears, as I finished my rant. Thinking wistfully, of the childhood I never got. I couldn't really blame my parents. They were fighting for the right reasons, but that didn't make it any easier for me.

"Jennifer, stop being so dramatic. And I will be damned if you think you can talk to your mother that way. Do you think we planned this Jen? That this was the life we wanted for you? If you want to be treated like an adult then start acting like one, and not a spoiled three year old," my father spat at me. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes.

"Regardless of whether you planned it or not, Dad, you still did it. All I'm asking for is a little freedom in return. I have done everything you wanted, no questions asked. I have NO friends," He looked up and was ready to say the death eaters kids were my friends, but I was already a step ahead. "Don't even think of calling those wretched, death eaters brats friends, Dad. You know I hate them all. They are fueled by hate. I'm nothing like any of them."

"Jen. I'm sorry life has been so hard for you," my mother said quietly. "I don't know how to fix that, or make it up to you. But if you think going to Hogwarts is going to be what's best for you, then I will take your word. I love you, and I want to see you happy."

"Thank you, Mom," I turned to thank my father as well, but he was staring at my mother, mouth wide open.

"Sarah, what if something happens to her?" he turned on me. "If you think its hard pretending now, wait until you get to Hogwarts. You will be pretending every day, constantly being two people. Are you sure this is what you want?"

I nodded. There was a moments silence, as he contemplated my answer, and finally accepted it. "Alright, but would you mind telling me why you were passed out on the bathroom floor?" My face paled at the memory, and I recounted my run in with Bellatrix. My mother and father exchanged a murderous glance with one another.

"Daddy, isn't there anything we can do? She's going to kill children! Innocent children! And she wants me to help… I, I cant. I cant do that." Tears filled my eyes, and I tried to shake it off.

"I don't know, Jen. We have to see. But I don't think we can. There's a good chance that you're the only one Bella's told, and if there's a tip off… she will know it was you. She already suspects your mother and I. It would compromise everything. I'm sorry."

I nodded my head mechanically. Just more casualties in an endless war. My mothers expression mirrored my own. She hated the murders as much as I did, but she was stronger than me. And though my dad wasn't the warm fuzzy type, he hated the senseless murders too, he just refused to let it show. He kept an indifferent expression on his face.

"It's been a long day, I just want to go to bed," I said standing and heading for my room.

"Jen," I heard my father call out softly behind me. I turned to see what he wanted. "You might need this," he said handing me a glass vial. Dreamless sleep. I would need it.

"Thanks, Dad." I hugged him and went upstairs.

* * *

"Severus, I'm worried about her. She's not as strong as we are. How much can we expect her to take? She's just a child really." Sarah looked at her husband with a worried expression. "And the next time I see Bellatrix, she's mine."

"Careful, Sarah. You know the dark lord favors Bella. But when the time comes, I promise you, she will be among the first to be taken down," Severus replied, taking his wife in his arms and holding her. His mind was racing. A new wind was blowing, and he hadn't the slightest idea where it was taking them.

A/N: A bit longer of a chapter. Hope everyone is enjoying it so far, this story has been bouncing in my brain for weeks. Im always open to suggestions. Please Reveiw!


	3. Proud Parent

Disclaimer: Yeah, I still don't own Severus… I do however own my goldfish that I named Albus, so stick that in your juice box and suck it!

The weekend passed by at an alarming rate. Saturday I went to see Uncle Albus, so that I could be sorted. Though I couldn't understand why, I was nervous about the sorting. My mom had been a Gryffindor, my father a Slytherin. As far as I knew, I was the only person with parents at such opposite ends of the spectrum.

As though he could read my thoughts, Dumbledore broke the silence. "Jen, there is nothing to worry about. Whatever house you belong to, it's not nearly as important as people make it out to be." He fixed those pale blue eyes on me, and I had to look away.

"Ok, I'm ready," I said letting out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding.

The hat was on my head for quite a few minutes, though it didn't speak to me. Well, at least I couldn't hear it if it was. Even Dumbledore began to get anxious after two minutes silence. After another minute, "Gryffindor!" the hat shouted.

Though I hadn't had a preference at first, I decided I was happy being a Gryffindor, because then I wouldn't be stuck in classes with Crabbe, Goyle, Flint and Zabini all the time. Draco Malfoy, I could deal with. The others, forget it.

I had actually dated Marcus Flint. For a month, and only because my parents had begged me. He was a disgusting thing. Always trying to coax me into sleeping with him. His last attempt had been enough to force me to Hex him. Safe to say that was the end of our "relationship". This had only happened a week ago, and as far as I knew he had taken to calling me "ice queen".

After I was sorted, Aunt Minerva took me to Gryffindor tower and introduced me to the Gryffindors. They all seemed nice. I would be sharing a room with the other fifth year girls, one of whom was named Hermione Granger. She was extremely polite, and made it a point to introduce herself and welcome me to Gryffindor.

"Hello, I'm Hermione Granger," she said in a friendly tone.

I smiled. I had a feeling that I would like this girl. "Hi, I'm Jennifer Snape, but you can call me Jen."

"Snape? As in, the Professors daughter?" Her eyes were wide.

Damn. I knew this would be a pain. "Yeah. They are my parents. I know the kind of reputation my dad has, too… 'Bat of the Dungeons' and all. So could you get to know me before making judgments based off of him? I can't help the fact that I have a socially ignorant father," I finished with a smile.

Hermione smiled too. "Yeah, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I mean, I always knew they had a daughter, your mom's told me about you, I'm just shocked that you're finally coming to school here."

"Yeah, I got tired of the whole 'home-school' song-and-dance. I wanted to be able to be around people my age, hopefully even someone on my maturity level," I added teasing.

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking, and much to my surprise, Hermione was very close to my level. I think the only thing I may have a one-up with is occlumency. But I learned merely out of necessity. She probably had no reason to learn occlumency, so that couldn't really count against her.

"It's dinner time. We should head down to the great hall," Hermione noted, looking at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah, I'm just going to get changed, I will meet you there."

"Ok, I will save you a seat," she said smiling at me on the way out the door.

I walked over to my trunk, and pulled out a comfortable pair of blue-jeans and a long sleeved cotton white shirt, since we didn't have to start wearing out robes until semester officially started. I put on a pink camisole under my shirt, since it was a v neck, ran my fingers through my long black hair, and took a deep breath. My crystal blue eyes mirrored exactly what I felt. Anxiety. Shrugging it off I turned and walked down the hall and out of our common room.

I made it as far as the 2nd floor corridor, just one floor above the great hall, before I ran into a group of Slytherins. Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini, and of course, because I was just unlucky, Marcus Flint. I hadn't seen him since his last unsuccessful attempt, and by the arrogant look on his face I could tell he still wasn't over me. _This should be interesting_, I thought as they got closer to me.

Blaise pushed his way to the front of the group when he caught sight of me, yelling my name loudly across the hall. "HEY! JEN!"

"Hello, Blaise," I said nonchalantly. I nodded my hello to the rest of the group. "Was there really a need to scream? I was only ten feet away."

"I have something important to ask you about, and I just wanted to make sure you didn't go slinking away," He winked at me in a way that made my stomach churn.

"Well what is it? I'm in a hurry. Someone's waiting for me…" I hoped Hermione wasn't thinking I was ditching her.

"Well, you see, my friend Marcus here," he said gesturing to Flint, who was standing beside him, "tells me that you have quite a mouth on you, Jen. And that 'you know how to use it', if you catch my drift." He winked at me again, and I could feel pure fury, building inside of me. "He says you were pretty good. Quite the slut actually. Said he-" That was the last word that made its way out of Blaise's mouth before my fist made sharp contact with his jaw with a sickening crack. He staggered backward, clutching his jaw, his lip bleeding.

"Does Marcus have anything more to say on the topic?" I asked, glaring at him. He stood there staring at the floor, refusing to look at me. Pathetic coward, that's what he was. I turned and started walking away.

"Jen, you STUPID BITCH!" Blaise screamed at me. I whipped around in time to see him start to step towards me, pulling his wand out, but he didn't make it a full two steps before Malfoy's fist made contact with his stomach, he had his wand out in a second, and hexed him as well.

I was touched that Draco would go to such lengths for me. It reminded me once more, why he was the only one of the bunch I had any patience for. I was brought out of my thoughts, by the throbbing that made itself known in my right hand, and the voice that filled the hall. My heart sank. I knew that voice anywhere.

"What in the GODS name is going on here?!" My father yelled as he made his way down the hall. He caught sight of me, and had a look on his face that purely said 'I-told-you-so'. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from saying anything. The boys were shocked, I was just irritated. "Am I speaking to the walls? _WHAT_ happened?" He looked from me holding my already swollen hand, to Blaise's swollen jaw and the boils that had sprouted on his face, to Draco's wand.

"You, you and you," He barked pointing at each of us in turn. "My office _now_."

"Sir really," I said reminding myself that he wasn't my father while I was in school. "It's nothing. Blaise thought that he would have a go at me and I wouldn't do anything about it. He's a coward that needed to be put in his place. I punched him, then he went to hex me, while I had my _back turned_, and Draco stopped him. That's it."

I could feel a slight pressure, and realized that my father was trying to use legillimency to see what happened. I allowed him full access to the memory, and smiled to myself when he pulled out a mere second later, and looked livid.

"Zabini, detention for a week. Ms. Snape, as a student, I have to advise you that violence is not acceptable here. Twenty points from Gryffindor." My mouth popped open, and I stared at him furious. He was punishing me? I knew I was technically a student now, but really?

"Fine, Sir. Can we go now?" I asked in a bitter tone.

"Yes. And Jen," he leaned in and whispered, "Though I had to punish you as a student, as my daughter, I'm proud of you. Good punch." Though he didn't smile, I had been his daughter long enough to know the slight tug on the corners of his mouth would have been a full on smirk, had the others not been present. I smiled in response and took off in the direction of the great hall.

I made it to lunch fifteen minutes late due to this whole ordeal, and to my amazement, my father had beat me there, even though he stayed behind to discuss some things with his Slytherins. I skimmed the hall for Hermione, and found her waving at me.

"Hey, Jen. This is Ron Weasley, and this is Harry Potter," she said gesturing to the two boys sitting across from her. I smiled politely at them both.

"Hi, I'm Jennifer Snape, but you can just call me Jen." Due to the lack of surprised looks, I'm sure Hermione had told them not to badger me about my parents. Thank heavens.

"Hello, Jen," Harry said in a friendly tone. "It's nice to meet you." He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but notice that his eyes were the nicest shade of green.

Ron said something to me that I had to guess was along the same lines as Harry's greeting, but I had to guess, because his mouth was stuffed with food.

I had finally gotten a plate, and was ready to eat, when my right hand throbbed again, as I tried to pick up my fork. "Wow, what happened to your hand, Jen?" Harry asked looking concerned.

"Oh, it's noting really. A misunderstanding."

"Come on, Jen. I wasn't born yesterday. What happened?"

I sighed, and recounted the whole story. When I arrived at the end, I began to eat. I was starving.

"You dated Marcus Flint?" Hermione asked in a disgusted tone. "What could have possibly been the appeal?"

I followed her gaze and seen Marcus sitting at the Slytherin table. I couldn't very well say, 'oh our parents are death eaters, only mine are really double agents, and they forced me into it'. Instead I just said, "Never judge a book by its cover?"

This earned laughter from all three of them, and I smiled to myself. I think the four of us could get along.

"I still can't believe Malfoy." Harry said. "Since when is he trying to be nice to people? Granted he was probably trying to kiss up to your father, but still…"

I was a bit stung by this comment. "You know, he would probably kill me for saying this, but he isn't as bad as you think. Once you get to know him. He can be a bit of a prat, but he fights for what he believes in. He's loyal." I found my tone almost fond, and realized how much I thought it spoke for his character what he did today.

"Yeah, to the wrong side. He gives Hermione the stare-down every time he sees her. He always degrades muggle-borns." Harry looked disgusted. I could understand how he felt. I used to feel the same way. As hard as it may be for me to live two lives, I think it's harder for Draco to live one. Because his one life was nothing but a lie. He didn't have the pleasure of being himself, ever. Though he's never said it to me, I don't believe he is anymore a future death eater than I am.

His father is a man to be feared. He is… twisted. I overheard my parents talking one night, said that he tortures his wife. Maybe Draco knows, and that's why he snapped when Blaise came at me. Maybe Draco has to pretend, for fear his father will turn on him next.

And in this moment I knew. I knew that I wasn't alone in hating what I had to _pretend_ to be. Because I think that Draco is pretending too. And I'm going to find out. I won't let him suffer alone. I'm going to find the _real_ Draco Malfoy.

A/N: Sorry it took a few days for this chapter to get up. Been really busy with classes. Taking three studio classes this semester, so im always in the studio. I hope you all like this chapter. Suggestions are welcome, and reviews are ADORED so please, Please, PLEASE REVIEW!!


	4. Midnight Confessions

After dinner that night, Hermione, Harry, Ron and I sat in the common room for hours and talked. We got to know each other. They wanted to know what it was like growing up with my parents.

"I mean, blimey Jen, your dad can be quite intimidating," Ron commented at one point.

I let out a laugh at this. "Yeah, because he wants to keep control of his class. I mean, don't get me wrong, he is not a warm and fuzzy person. But when you know the real him, it's not so bad. I think I have actually gotten immune to the glare. And my dad is the best man I know. He loves my mom so much, and me. He would do anything for us."

"How did they meet?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Who? My Parents?" Hermione nodded in response.

"They were in school together. My dad was in his third year when my mom got here. They just fell for each other I guess," I lied knowing that I couldn't share the full story. About how my mother had saved him when he had tried to kill himself over Lily Evans. They had been best friends, my parents. But my dad couldn't get over Lily. He was a death eater, and my mom was fighting to save him. She didn't want to see him be a part of something so dark, so hateful. She found him, near dead, in his house in spinners end. It was after a meeting with the Dark Lord, he went home and got wasted. He had only been out of school for two years. He was nineteen. Mom found him in his living room, bleeding to death. His wrists were slit.

My parents to this day don't know that I know the real story. I fell into my fathers pensieve by accident and was stuck inside until all the memories played out. My mother was my fathers savior. Even if he hadn't died that night, I'm sure he would be dead by now. She gave him a reason to live. A reason to love again.

The conversation moved on from there, and I learned that Harry had a horrible home life, with his aunt and uncle. Hermione's parents were muggles, and owned their own dental practice. Ron's family was an old pure blood family, but his dad was bonkers over anything muggle. The man collected plugs, and his hearts desire was to learn how air planes stayed in the air.

Harry glanced at the clock and realized it was 10: 30 already.

"Well, I'm off to bed. Quidditch in the morning. Goodnight."

"I'm right behind you, mate. Gotta get my beauty sleep you know, " he said smiling as he followed Harry up the steps to the boys dorm.

"I guess I should turn in too," Hermione said, stifling a yawn. "You coming, Jen?"

"In a bit. I just want to sit up and think a while," I said smiling at her.

"Oh, Okay. Well, goodnight"

"Goodnight, Hermione."

Shortly after she went upstairs, I decided I didn't feel like staying in the common room. I tiptoed out of the common room and through the portrait hole, and just started wandering through the castle. I thought about the choice I made. Coming to Hogwarts definitely felt right. I felt like things were going right for the first time in my life. I walked past an empty room that housed a grand piano, and I couldn't resist.

I sat on the bench and gently ran my fingers across the ivory keys. I started idly playing a soft melody, humming to myself as I played. When I was eight I had decided that I wanted to learn how to play, but quickly found that I didn't have the patience for it. So I learned to play the guitar instead.

What was this piano doing here? It was beautiful, but I was on the fifth floor, and I knew for a fact that the choir was held on the third floor. This classroom looked as though it hadn't been used in years. I stopped humming and quit playing the small melody that I knew how to play when I her the slightest rustle of clothing behind me. Most people probably wouldn't have heard it, but I was the daughter of two spies. I had been trained from a young age to be observant.

I turned wand at the ready to face whoever it was behind me. I let out a sound of surprise when I realized it was Draco.

"Easy, Jen," he said with both hands raised. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry."

I let out the breath that I had been holding since I first heard the noise. "No, Draco, it's fine. I over reacted. I'm sorry. What are you doing out so late?" I looked at my watch and noticed it was half past midnight.

"I could ask you the same question, Ms. Snape," he replied with a smile.

I couldn't help but smile in response. His smile was purely dazzling. I had never seen him smile like this before. It wasn't the usual arrogant smirk, but a real smile. "I couldn't sleep. I'm so keyed up. All of this is so new, and exciting, but scary all at once. Does that make any sense?" I was well aware of the fact that I often talked in endless circles. It made me feel as if no one understood me.

"It makes perfect sense. Your not as complicated as you think, Jen."

"Well, thanks… I guess that was kind of a compliment. And also thank you so much for what you did today. I'm sorry you got in trouble." His pale grey eyes locked me in place, and I felt like I couldn't move if I wanted to. He seemed to be assessing whether or not my apologies were sincere. After a moment, he spoke.

"It's no problem. And I'm so sorry that Blaise said that about you. I don't think Marcus had anything to do with it, though he is still quite bitter about your last 'date'" Draco said barely holding back laughter at the last part.

I glared at him. "Don't judge me," I said fighting a smile. "If Marcus was shoving his tongue down your throat, and running his hands all over you, you would have hexed him too. Disgusting thing. If he thinks that turns girls on, then he is going to die a virgin."

Draco laughed at the last part. It was a beautiful sound. "Draco, why don't you act like this more often? You are so much easier to be around when your like this. Which person are you really?" The change in his expression was instantaneous.

He looked almost angry. "Which person are you, Jen? Don't go calling people out when you aren't even the same person all the time. One minute your dating Marcus, acting just like the rest of them, and the next you're here at Hogwarts, suddenly best friends with Potter, Granger and Weasley. Who are you?"

I felt as though I had been slapped. "I-I didn't mean it like that, Draco. It wasn't meant as an insult. I just, I like this side of you. I'm sorry…" The tension in the air was thick. Then he spoke after a moment, his voice softer.

"Jen, I've known you a long time. Since we were kids. Can't you understand, that I can't be myself? If my father knew who I really was, he would kill me. So I pretend. And I hate it. At least your parents are spies. So no matter which girl is you, you can be yourself at one point. I don't have that luxury. Everyday I have to hate, everyday I have to pretend. I don't see any other way out. There is no other option. I will be a death eater. You will be a spy. Our fates were chosen the minute we were born," he sat next to me on the bench, and brushed a strand of hair out of my face. "So you asked who am I? And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter. All people can know is what they see. And all they will ever see is a monster."

I had tears in my eyes by this point. Because he was right. We had out fates chosen for us. Even if we ran, he would find us, and probably kill our families. I lay my head on his should and cried. I cried for all the things I had lost, both things I had and things I never could. I cried for not having any say in my life. I cried for Draco, having to be a monster.

He reached out and held my hand. "I'm sorry," I managed to whisper after the tears passed. He unwrapped his arms from around me, and leaned back to look at my face.

"Don't ever apologize for still being able to feel. They try to break us down everyday. If they win, then our lives stand for nothing. I think even if I live as a monster, even if no one knows who I am, it will at least count for something in the end that I tried. That I still believed that there could be good in the world. That I didn't want this life."

I nodded, because I understood. I felt the same way. I was about to tell him that he could be himself with me. I wanted to tell him everything about me, but suddenly there was another sound, and for the second time tonight I was able to hear the rustling of clothes.

Before I had time to react, my father came striding into the room. He stared closely at the two of us sitting on the piano bench. Draco's arm still around me, the other holding my hand. I could feel him pressing at the edges of my mind, and forcefully shoved him out.

"Draco, get down to the common room _now_. I will be down in a moment to deal with you." His voice was harsh, and he was more than ticked off that I had shoved him unceremoniously out of my mind. Draco smiled a small smile at me, nothing compared to the first, and left. I glared at my father.

"Jen, what in God's name are you doing up here at midnight, with Draco no less?" He asked, his tone acidic.

Just as I was about to answer, I felt him push again. Trying to catch me off guard. "Stop it!" I yelled. "Is nothing _mine_? Stay out of my head. I have to give up everything else in this life for your poor choices, cant my mind be my own?" I shouted, the conversation with Draco still fresh in my mind.

"What are you talking about, Jen? Where is this coming from?" He asked, looking incredulous.

"Its coming from the fact that I cant ever be who I want! My path was chosen for me from the day I was born. I _have_ to be a spy. I have no other choice. If I turn against him, he will kill me, and possibly you and mom. I _HATE _the person I have to be. I don't want this life…" I was close to tears again.

He looked struck by what I had said. "Jen, I… the war will be over one day. This wont be your whole life."

"So what? I just have to be what everyone wants until this war is over? What if it doesn't happen? Then what? Sorry about your luck? No. You have been telling me the war is ending since I was a child. I'm starting to think it never will."

He stood motionless. Unsure of how to respond to what I had said. He stared at me, and I felt my tears dangerously close to spilling over.

"Jen, I- I'm sorry. I don't know how to fix this for you. I can't fix this for you. I apologize for the fact that you have to suffer from my choices, but I can not apologize for making them. That would mean regretting your mother. That would mean regretting you."

The tears flowed. "Dad, I don't want to do this. I don't want to be a spy. I just want to be happy. Is that so much to ask for? Everyday I get closer to seventeen. Everyday, I get closer to becoming his slave. And I won't pretend. I refuse. I will die before I pretend to believe in the genocide of muggleborns."

"I know this isn't the life you wanted, Jen. When we found out your mom was pregnant, this wasn't the life we wanted for you. It was safe back then. We thought he was gone. Just let things play out for now. We will cross that bridge when we get there," he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I felt like a child again.

It wasn't very often that my father held me, because it wasn't often that I needed to be held. But when I needed it, he was always there. Just like now. I could feel my anger slipping away from him. He was as much a victim as I was. We were all victims. Draco included. And if for no other reason, I would find a way for him to be free.

A/N: So I haven't gotten many reviews. Do you want me to continue? Ideas, suggestions, or a simple continue would be helpful. Please click the magic review button. *Puppy dog face* Pretty please?


	5. Morning Collision

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. I do however own Jen, so I think I should therefore own a small piece of Severus. But for some reason I feel J.K. Rowling would see it differently… On with the story : )

I didn't sleep well that night. The agony in Draco's voice haunted my dreams. The pained expression on his face was enough to make me scream. I had the same nightmare several times that night. Always the same, no matter how many times I woke up.

I was chasing Draco down a dark hallway. I could hear muggles screaming. When I caught up to him, I grabbed his arm and he spun around to face me revealing the mask of a death eater. He smiled and spun me around to face a mirror. I let out a scream of terror. I too was in a death eaters mask, with the blood of muggles on my hands.

Finally, after waking up from the dream for the fifth time that night, I gave up on sleep. It was 5:30, and I was the only one awake. Classes didn't start until 9, so I put on a pair of sweatpants and a jacket and went out for a run. Running was the best way for me to let out my frustrations.

I walked out of the tower, through the portrait hole, and down to the entrance hall. Thankfully the doors weren't locked, so I made my way down the steps, and outside. The sun was just beginning to rise and it was breath taking. I stretched for a few minutes, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and was off.

The air was changing, and autumn was definitely approaching. Today was September 1st, and the morning air had just a hint of that crisp autumn feel. As I ran, I though back to my conversation with Draco. I was determined to find a different path for him. Some sort of loophole. For both of us, but more importantly for him.

Draco had a far worse life than I did. God only knows what his father was actually like. I got chills at the thought of what Draco must have to go through at home. I also found myself realizing how much I liked Draco, maybe even more than I had ever cared to realize. Sure he had always been my favorite out of all the death eaters' kids, but given the competition that was an easy win.

Was it possible that I had more than platonic feelings for Draco? I wasn't one of those silly girls, who has one late night conversation and thinks she is in love. I knew better. Because even though people did heroic things in the name of love, I have also seen the dark side to love. People have killed in the name of love. My own father had attempted to take his life in the name of love. Was that an emotion that I really wanted?

Truth be told, I am terrified of love. Because you give up rational thinking, you change. What if I was one of those people that changed for the worst? Could I handle becoming a monster, even if it was in the name of love? Bellatrix killed so many people because she was in love with Voldemort, and she wanted to please him. So if I fell in love with Draco, would I kill to please him?

I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't even see anyone until I felt myself colliding with another solid body. I hit the innocent bystander with enough force that it knocked both of us to the ground.

Dizziness was the first thing I felt, second was embarrassment. I had landed myself directly on top of Draco, and he was laughing hysterically, making me bounce on top of him. I hadn't noticed until now, that he was actually pretty built. I could feel his abs pressing against me, as he shook with laughter. This situation definitely wasn't any help in me convincing myself that I only wanted him as a friend.

After what seemed like forever, I caught enough breath to apologize. "Draco…I'm….so sorry," I managed in between gasps. The breath had been knocked out or me during the collision. I had also managed to collide my already injured hand with his hard chest.

He finally managed to control himself and sat up, causing it to look like I was sitting on his lap, my legs wrapped around his torso. That would be brilliant to have to explain to his girlfriend Pansy, or my father. Good thing it's so early. No one else was around.

"You making it a point to beat up someone everyday, Jen?" He chuckled. "And if so, may I ask what I did to deserve such a beating? I promise to do it again," he added teasing.

"Ugh," I said as I made to stand up. He wrapped his arms around me so that I couldn't move. "Draco! Get off!" I could only say it half seriously, as he began to tickle me. He was the only person, even as kids, that could find my ticklish spot. Well, aside from my parents. "Draco…please…… STOP!" I managed between giggles.

The tickling suddenly stopped and he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I could get used to this." My breath caught in my throat, and I wasn't sure what to say. So I didn't say anything. I unwrapped his arms from around me and stood up. The look on his face was impossible to read, but his grey eyes seemed to be burning with some strange intensity. Some strange emotion.

Shaking it off, I held out my good hand to him. "Come on, Casanova. Let's get inside. Your girlfriend wouldn't appreciate me keeping you away. Plus I think I am going to need my hand wrapped now," I added with a smile.

"My girlfriend, please, Jen. I hardly care what Pansy thinks. Let alone how she feels about it," He said this as if it were obvious. As if I was missing a key point. The way he said it both relieved and frustrated me. Relieved because there was part of me that was still wondering exactly how much I liked him, and the way he said it meant his relationship with her wasn't serious. Frustrated because they flaunted themselves all over school, yet they didn't seem to really care about each other.

"How can you say that?" I demanded. "Is she just expendable to you? Someone there when you need a good lay? I thought so much more of you than that." So no matter how I felt about him, he was a womanizer. That's just dandy.

"Jen, it's not what you think. It's not like that with every girl. Pansy and I, we just… have an arrangement. And no she's not just a good lay, but she definitely isn't the sort of girl I would marry." He said this as if it explained it all. As if it justified it.

"Then why even be with her to start? What does it mean to sleep with someone you don't love? It means nothing." I was… I couldn't explain it. Did I care about Draco? Yes. Did I want to be with him? Possibly. Was it possible for us to be together? No. For so many reasons. This was just another tally on the wrong side of the chart. I turned to walk away.

"I don't understand why you're upset with me, Jen," he stopped and grabbed my arm, turning me to look at him.

He seemed truly hurt that I was upset with him. But how was I supposed to explain to him what I was feeling, if I couldn't even explain it to myself? What was going on with me?

"Draco, I… I just don't even know how to begin to explain this. Can we just forget about it? Please?" I begged. I didn't want to dig any deeper into this. I could feel it coming. This would be a disaster if I couldn't keep control of my emotions. If I fell in love with Draco, if I let him get too close, it would only lead to my heart breaking. We couldn't ever be together. And even if we could, he would never care about me. Not the way I needed him to. I would be another convenience. Just like Pansy. Until someone new struck his fancy.

"Jen, I can't just walk away and not look back knowing that you're upset with me. I value you and your opinion far too much for that. Please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." He pleaded both with his voice and his eyes. Could he really be that worried over it?

"I have to get inside and take a shower, Draco. Can we do this another time? I didn't sleep well last night, and I'm just tired." He stared at me closely, and noticed the circles under my eyes for the first time. Then he did something… unexpected. For him.

He reached out and traced his thumb across the faint circle under my right eye, then proceeded to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. My heart was pounding.

"What kept you up? Jen, I'm sorry if I kept you last night. All that talk of having our fates chosen for us. I'm sorry if I upset you." He looked truly worried.

I was trying to remember how to breathe properly, as his grey eyes stared into mine. "No, don't be silly, Draco. I knew all of those things already. I just, have nightmares sometimes. I have since I was a kid. No big deal. It's not your fault. Please don't feel guilty. But I really have to get inside. I promise I'm not upset with you. I'm just tired. I'm sorry to take it out on you. It's not your fault. I should be the one apologizing."

He relaxed momentarily. "No apologies necessary. Is there anything I can do to help?" The worried expression was once again set on his face.

"Help with what?"

"With the nightmares," He said totally serious.

"No, really. Like I said, I have been getting them since I was a kid."

"But if there's anything I can do, you'll let me know right?"

"Yeah, let's go," I said nodding in the direction of the castle door.

Yet again he took me by surprise, and grabbed my hand as we headed inside. I wasn't sure what he meant by it, I only knew what it meant to me. And right now, I knew that I felt more than friendly towards him. The thought terrified me, and I vowed myself not to love him. I could have a crush on him all I wanted, but I would NOT love him. I could do this. I would do this. I could be just his friend. Because that was the best I could ever have with him. Because the war wasn't over. And I wasn't sure if it ever would be.

Even if it means I will die trying, I will find a way for Draco to be free. Because the real Draco is too beautiful of a thing to be hidden away.

We parted ways as we reached the grand staircase in the entrance hall. He headed for the dungeons, and I the Gryffindor tower. I never got the chance to ask him what he had been doing out so early, and maybe it was none of my business. But as I walked away, I had the feeling that he was watching me. I wouldn't turn to look, because I wasn't sure which would be worse. If he was watching, or if he hadn't spared another second thinking of me. Either option led down the same path. And I could feel my heart twisting at the thought.

A/N: So I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter! I know it's a little short, but I wanted to get a chapter or two up before spring break is over. I don't go back to university until Tuesday, so I may get another chapter up before then. But that all depends on how much the magic button below is clicked. : )


	6. A Changing Heart

Disclaimer: I may not own Severus, but I do however own all 7 books! So I own a piece of him… oh…. Ok I don't. But a girl can dream. Anyway, I own nothing you recognize, blah blah blah. On with our story.

**Draco POV**

I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something about talking with Jen the night before, it just felt so…. So right. Like it was something I was missing, but never realized it until I found it. Now that I had found whatever it was, I could feel the ache of not having it. Of not having her near.

I never really looked closely at Jen before. To be honest, I try to avoid having contact with any of the death eaters kids, more than necessary that is. Of course I have to play the role of leader. I am a Malfoy after all.

But something about the way she looked at me last night hit home for me. Every emotion I had felt in my life, I seen reflected in her eyes. Anger, frustration, fear, loss, guilt, sorrow, anxiety. They were all there. Jen was just as consumed by it all as I was. And she had no one. Aside from her parents, who were death eaters.

At least she had better parents than I did. Death eaters or not. They loved Jen. My mother loved me, but was too weak to fight for me. Too afraid to fight for me. And as for my father, he could drop dead tomorrow, and I would rejoice. He is worthless. Wanting nothing more from life than to hurt other people. To abuse my mother. Abuse me. And kill muggles.

My biggest fear in life was becoming like him. I feel like I struggle with it more every day. Like I'm pretending for so long that I am going to lose myself. For some reason, Jen's question struck a nerve in me. Who am I?

I'm Draco Malfoy. Son of two death eaters. Public prat, closet romantic. I play the piano, I started teaching myself secretly in my first year at Hogwarts. I sometimes write poetry. Essentially, I am the perfect cliché of a lie.

* * * * *

I didn't sleep well last night. In fact, I hardly slept at all. Nightmares that I couldn't recall now, haunted me. Since I'm already awake, I might as well go sit by the lake for a while. That usually helps clear my mind.

I got out of bed, and dressed in a pair of black pants, and a black t-shirt. I would come back before breakfast to get my robes. I crept quietly out of my dorm, praying to the heavens that Crabbe and Goyle didn't wake. My morning to collect my thoughts would be right down the drain. Thankfully, I made it out without meeting anyone.

The castle had an eerie, yet calm feeling this early. Most people weren't up yet, so the usually noisy halls were quiet. Even most of the portraits were still sleeping.

I was afraid the great doors may still be locked, but mercifully they were open. I strode out the door and down the steps. The sun was still rising, and it was beautiful.

I closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the smell of the fresh morning air, and hoping fervently that I would have a chance to get closer to Jen. I want to be with her. But can we have any sort of future together?

As I stood there contemplating the possibilities, something rocketed into the side of me, with enough force to knock me down. I opened my eyes, and realizing it was a person, grabbed onto them, so they would land on me, rather than the stone steps.

I was momentarily dazed. Then I looked up, and seen it was Jen laying on top of me, and that was all it took for me to be lost in a fit of laughter. The irony!

I couldn't make myself stop laughing long enough to ask if she was okay, let alone anything understandable at all. She seemed fine though, just mortified.

"Draco… I'm so…sorry," she gasped out.

I finally managed to sober up, and realized that I liked how it felt to have her laying on top of me. I sat up, causing Jen to shift as well. This would be an interesting thing for someone to catch a glimpse of from the windows.

"You making it a point to beat up someone every day, Jen?" I chuckled softly. "And if so, may I ask what I did to deserve such a beating? I promise to do it again," I added in a teasing voice. Though it was only really half teasing. I definitely didn't mind being in close proximity with Jen.

"Ugh!" She made to get up, so I wrapped my arms around her. Good thing I spent most of last summer working out, because she is pretty strong. I started tickling her, knowing she hated it. "Draco! Get off!" She managed to shout through the giggles. "Draco…please…STOP!"

I don't know what came over me, but I had the strongest urge to kiss her. I stopped tickling her abruptly, and leaned in, but stopped at the last second. I leaned in further, my lips just a mere inch from her neck, and whispered in her ear " I could get used to this."

My breath on her neck caused goose bumps, and I felt her breath catch in her throat. She sat, momentarily stunned, and then after a minute she unwrapped my arms from around her and stood up. Her blue eyes bore into mine, and my heart pounded. Did she not want me as anything more than a friend? Or was she unsure of me because of my reputation? My face was set indifferently, but I couldn't keep the intense emotions I was feeling out of my eyes.

"Come on, Casanova. Let's get inside. Your girlfriend wouldn't appreciate me keeping you away. Plus I think I am going to need my hand wrapped now," She said smiling, as she reached her hand out to me.

Pansy? She really thinks I care about what Pansy thinks? She is probably off shagging someone else right now. "My girlfriend, please, Jen. I hardly care what Pansy thinks. Let alone how she feels about it," I thought everyone knew that Pansy and I were simply friends with… benefits. Im not proud of it, but it is what it is.

Jen looked almost angry. "How can you say that?" she demanded. Scratch the _almost_ angry. She was pissed. "Is she just expendable to you? Someone there when you need a good lay? I thought so much more of you than that."

I felt as though I'd been slapped. "Jen, it's not what you think. It's not like that with every girl. Pansy and I, we just… have an arrangement. And no she's not just a good lay, but she definitely isn't the sort of girl I would marry." I'm not saying I'm a saint, but I am definitely not the first person to have a casual shagging arrangement with someone.

"Then why even be with her to start? What does it mean to sleep with someone you don't love? It means nothing." She looked torn.

And to be honest, I didn't have an answer. Jen was the first person to ever call me out on the fact that what I was doing, was stupid. Senseless. But that didn't explain why she was taking it so personally. She turned to walk away, but I caught her arm and turned her to face me. "I don't understand why you're upset with me, Jen." I didn't like the fact that she was upset, even more that she was upset with me.

She looked at me, almost desperately. "Draco, I… I just don't even know how to begin to explain this. Can we just forget about it? Please?" she begged.

Maybe she did feel more than friendship for me. She looked terrified of having to explain what was going on inside her head right now. Maybe if I pushed just a bit further… "Jen, I can't just walk away and not look back knowing that you're upset with me. I value you and your opinion far too much for that. Please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Every word was honest. Now I was pleading. For the truth, and for her forgiveness. Her opinion mattered far more than it should.

"I have to get inside and take a shower, Draco. Can we do this another time? I didn't sleep well last night, and I'm just tired." She seemed to be avoiding the subject, but as I looked closer, I couldn't help but notice the faint dark circles under her eyes. Had I kept her too late?

I was reaching out and tracing the faint mark under her eye, before I even consciously realized what I was doing. A strand of her hair broke free from her ponytail, and I couldn't resist reaching out and tucking it behind her ear. Her breath caught again.

"What kept you up? Jen, I'm sorry if I kept you last night. All that talk of having our fates chosen for us. I'm sorry if I upset you." My voice was thick. My ranting had hurt her. Perhaps she was more fragile than I had cared to imagine. I stared into those crystal blue eyes, praying that I hadn't hurt her.

"No, don't be silly, Draco. I knew all of those things already. I just, have nightmares sometimes. I have since I was a kid. No big deal. It's not your fault. Please don't feel guilty. But I really have to get inside. I promise I'm not upset with you. I'm just tired. I'm sorry to take it out on you. It's not your fault. I should be the one apologizing."

She had nightmares too? I felt a surge of empathy. I knew exactly how it felt to have nightmares every night, having no escape from reality. But why was she apologizing?

"No apologies necessary. Is there anything I can do to help?" I didn't want her to suffer the way I did. I was practically an insomniac.

"Help with what?" She looked baffled.

"With the nightmares."

"No, really. Like I said, I have been getting them since I was a kid."

"But if there's anything I can do, you'll let me know right?" I wanted to help her, in anyway I could.

"Yeah, let's go," She said nodding towards the castle.

I grabbed her hand as we walked up the stone steps, and found myself delighted when she didn't pull away. Maybe, just maybe, she felt the same as I did. With any other girl, I would have suggested we skip breakfast and "talk", which really just meant shag. But Jen was different. Believe me, I _did_ want her. But not now. Not like that. She was gorgeous, but she actually meant something to me. She was worth so much more than just a shag, because I could be myself with her. And I couldn't do that with anyone else.

We got closer to the place where we needed to part, and I felt my heart sinking at the thought of having to let go of her. I didn't know when I would get another chance to hold her hand. We parted ways, and I stared for a second longer than necessary, drinking in the sight of her. I stood there and watched her walk away. I didn't want to let her out of my sight. It was like if I turned away, everything would all just be a dream. The only good dream I have had in months.

I wasn't sure what to think or how to feel. I was more wrapped up in Jen that I should be. I was falling for her already, but could we every really be together. I felt the strangest sensation in my stomach as I turned and walked away.

As I made my way down to the dungeons, I ran into Pansy. "Draco!" she half shouted in her nasally voice.

"Oh, hi Pansy," I said trying to move past her, but she was throwing herself at me before I could move. She was running her hands all over me, and for the first time, I felt nothing. No longing for her. "Pansy, I don't want you. Never again. Our agreement is over. Go find someone else to shag." She looked flabbergasted. I was already willing to do anything to win Jen over. Despite the fact that my heart had been broken over and over in my life, I was willing to give the last piece of it that was intact to Jen. She was the only one I could trust with it.

A/N: So some of you asked for Draco's POV, so here you are! Sorry for the late update. School has been crazy. But please Hit the pretty little review button below. If you do, I promise to update sooner!


	7. Thunder Storms and Revelations

Disclaimer: Sadly, I still do not own Severus, or any part of the potterverse that you recognize.

The first two months of classes flew by, while November brought an even more crisp feel to the air. Harry, Hermione, Ron and I were pretty much inseparable during the days, and many of my nights were spent with Draco.

At least twice a week, I would go up to the top of the astronomy tower to lay under the stars. Usually, Draco would come wandering up. We never planned to meet, it just happened. We spent the nights talking, about things that I couldn't talk to anyone else about.

I told him about my life growing up, only after he confided in me that he knew my parents weren't really on Voldemort's side. He said he had walked in on a conversation my parents were having in an empty classroom, but my parents didn't know, nor had he told anyone. He too wanted to be a part of the resistance rather than the death eaters army.

In exchange, he told me about his home life. My heart broke every time he told me about the fact that his father hit his mother. No one should have to live through that sort of thing.

The night he told me about that, he looked as though he were close to tears, but he refused to cry. I hugged him, and he held on to me. We stayed like that for the rest of the night, until I fell asleep. I woke up with the sun shining on my face, and realized that Draco too was asleep, and he was still holding me. I lay there for a few minutes, thinking about how it felt.

And I wont lie. It felt nice, waking up in his arms like that. I was tempted to lay there all day. Waking up like this made it easy for me to believe that there was a chance that we could be together. Draco had made a lot of changes in the last month. They would seem subtle to anyone else, but I was captivated by him. I noticed them all.

Eventually I decided it would do myself more harm than good to let my imagination run away like that so I woke him, and we went our separate ways.

Today started out like any other. It was a Saturday, so the four of us went down to breakfast. Harry seemed on edge about something, and when I asked he just shrugged it off. Hermione and Ron were bickering over house elf rights.

"'Mione, I'm just saying, that's what they're for. They cook, they clean, it's the job they do. I'm not saying they should be treated like slaves, but it is what it is." Ron said, with a mouth full of food.

"Ronald Weasley! Of all the _arrogant_ things to say! So its they're _job_ to be slaves to wizards?" Hermione fumed.

At this point I stopped listening. The two sounded like an old married couple. They both fancied each other, but were both to afraid to admit it. Their fear seemed mundane to me, they had nothing to be afraid of. There was no life or death repercussions for the choice they made. They could be together at any second.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Harry asked suddenly, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh…. Sure," I said, knowing that this was an argument that had the potential to last for hours.

We got up and left the great hall, with many curious eyes following us. Draco's included. I don't know why it was such a big deal to everyone to see us leave together. We were just friends. I didn't feel anything for Harry, not like that at least.

I was still lost in thought as we walked through the entrance hall, and on to the grounds. Then very slowly, I felt Harry slipping his hand into mine. My mind started racing. But friends held hands right? This was just platonic, I assured myself.

"So this is a gorgeous day, huh?" Harry asked, sounding nervous.

Suddenly I didn't like where this was going. Holding my hand, talking about the weather, wanting to take a walk? Where in the hell is this going?

"Yeah, its nice," I replied casually. I refused to feed into this. I'm not going to help out one bit, if he is taking this in the direction I think he is.

"Lets sit by the lake."

I simply nodded as he pulled my hand in the direction of the lakes shore. It was a strangely warm day for November. We reached the waters edge and he motioned for me to sit down next to him on the rock. I sat next to him, close, but far enough away that it didn't imply something more than friendship.

He stared out at the water, absentmindedly tracing patterns on the back of my hand. I was wondering what he was thinking when he looked up at me, smiling shyly.

"This is nice," he said nodding towards our hands.

I could feel my throat starting to go dry, as I silently pleaded for this to not be happening. Being friends with Harry was nice. But I didn't feel anything more for him. Did I? Of course I didn't like him as much as I like Draco, but wasn't that equivalent to a teenage girl having a crush on her favorite rock star? Being with Draco would never be more than a fantasy. We couldn't be together. So there was no harm in letting this happen, and seeing how it felt right?

I nodded mechanically to myself, and Harry seemed to see some sort of permission in that nod, because he began leaning in slowly. My whole body was frozen in place and I don't think I could have moved if I wanted to. His lips made contact with mine, and I couldn't keep myself from wishing they were Draco's.

There were no fireworks. Not even so much as a spark. But I could tell by the look on his face, that the kiss had been everything Harry wanted it to be. I had a sick feeling in my stomach, realizing that I had most likely just ruined our friendship, because I wouldn't let this go any further, and I could see how badly he wanted it to.

Suddenly time began moving at normal speed again, when I looked over Harry's shoulder and seen Draco standing there looking as if he had seen a ghost. When his eyes met mine he turned and walked away. I jumped to my feet, "Harry, I have to go" I called over my shoulder as I took off after him.

He was inside the castle doors when I was still a good 50 yards away, and I knew I had lost him. I looked frantically in the entrance hall after I sprinted to the doors, and he was nowhere to be found.

I took off down the corridor that led to the dungeons, and busted through my fathers office door at full speed, interrupting a conversation between he and my mother, as they sat on the couch. "Dad, have you seen Draco?" I asked panting.

He looked at me, obviously mad at the intrusion, but more curious. "Why?"

"Ugh, I don't have time to explain! Have you seen him or not? Please I need to talk to him!"

This time it was my mother who spoke. "No, honey, we haven't. He left breakfast shortly after you and Harry. Sit down and talk to us. What's going on?"

"Mom, I just said I don't have time to talk! I have to go, I'll talk to you later," I called over my shoulder as I took off back to my search.

The next hour passed painfully slow, as I searched the entire castle for him. I was out of ideas. Where could Draco be? Suddenly, it hit me, the one place I was forgetting. It was painfully obvious. I hadn't checked the astronomy tower yet.

I walked up the spiraling staircase, and when I reached the top, my heart sank in disappointment. He wasn't there.

I was turning to leave, when I spotted him sitting in the far corner of the tower. Slowly, I walked to the corner, not sure what kind of reaction to expect. I sat next to him, and he didn't speak, or look in my direction. Bad sign.

"Draco, I… I don't know what to say." I mumbled. How could I have let such a huge mistake happen with Harry, knowing that my heart belonged to someone else? It had ever since my first night at Hogwarts. My mind just took a little longer to catch up.

He turned and looked at me, and I could see the pain in his eyes. It was enough to shatter my heart. It was the look he had whenever he spoke about home. I _never_ wanted to be the one to put that emotion in those warm gray eyes.

My eyes teared up, as I grabbed his hand in mine. "I'm so sorry, Draco. I-" that was all I got out before he cut me off.

"Jen, there is no need to apologize. I must have just misread things is all. I have no claim over you, and your free to be with who you want." His face looked indifferent, but the pain in his eyes was unmistakable.

"No, listen I-" again, he cut me off.

"Jen you don't have to justify yourself to me. You want who you want, and if you want Potter, then I hope you two are happy. Honestly," He gave me a small smile.

"Okay, but just let me explain," He went to interrupt me again, and this time I put a hand over his mouth before he could speak. "If you cant stay silent, I swear I will hex you into silence. Just let me say this. I don't want Harry. He kissed _me_, not the other way around."

"I told you its fine."

"Your impossible, do you know that?" I smiled at his puzzled expression.

"Why because I want you and Potter to be happy?"

"You daft, daft boy. I do not want Harry. My heart is already taken."

"Well whoever it is, I hope you two are happy."

"I hope so too."

"Yeah, congrats," he said as he made to get up.

I held tighter to his hand, and he pulled me up with him. He turned to leave and I grabbed him by the arm. "Please tell me your not this slow, Draco. Aren't you supposed to be brilliant?"

"What are you talking about?" I hadn't seen him this detached from me in months, and it hurt. I could see he was pulling himself away from me. He was as much a slave to his heart as I was to mine. He couldn't just be my friend anymore, so he would leave.

"Don't you even know who I'm talking about?" I asked pleading him to stay.

"No." He seemed uncomfortable.

"When Harry kissed me, that was all I could picture was you. Its always been you. Since that first night. I've been terrified of it," I could hear thunder rumbling in the twilight sky above us. "I cant see any possible future for us. I don't know how we could ever be together without it ending terrible. But I cant just be your friend anymore. I… I Love You."

The tears came spilling over, all of my fears rushing forward, as the rain began to fall. Draco's eyes, were filled with a different emotion now, but through the rain and my tears, I couldn't tell what it was. He stared at me for a moment, frozen, and my fears turned to panic that I was the only one that had fallen.

"Say it again."

I was puzzled. "Say what?"

"Tell me you love me. Say it again." He closed his eyes.

"I love you, Draco."

A wide smile spread across his face. "Jennifer Marie Snape, I have dreamt about hearing those words for two months now." My heart felt like it was going to burst through my chest, as the thunder roared overhead. He slowly opened his eyes, and kissed me in the middle of the storm.

Suddenly everything went quiet. The rain, the thunder, all the fears I had screaming inside of me. None of that mattered. All that mattered was the feel of his lips against mine. The way his arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him. The way my fingers intertwined themselves in his hair, wanting more of him. All of the things that weren't there when Harry kissed me earlier, were here. Magnified a hundred times.

We broke apart gasping for air, and suddenly I could feel the rain pouring down on us again, the sound of the thunder overhead, and the erratic beating of my heart. He wiped the tears from my eyes, only to have them be replaced by the raindrops.

"I love you, Jen. I've never said that to anyone before. But I love you." He leaned his forehead against mine, and kissed me briefly. We stood there in the storm for a few more minutes, before he kissed my cheek and took me by the hand, pulling me inside. Our clothes were soaked through at this point, if we ran into Filch, it would be detention for weeks.

He wandered through the halls, holding my hand, pulling me along. I had no clue where we were headed, but I knew as long as it was with him I was in. Suddenly he turned and kissed me again. I felt weak in the knees and had to lean against the stone wall for support.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back passionately. He only pulled away when, despite the burning passion I felt for him, the cold from my wet clothes and the stone wall made me shiver.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking," He said, as he pulled his wand out and cast a drying spell on the both of us.

"I wasn't either," I said smiling sheepishly.

He smirked back, my favorite smirk, and locked his eyes on mine. I hated to even imagine what I looked like right now. My clothes are dry, but my hair is still wet, I'm sure my makeup is running, and I had just been in the middle of a storm. I started to feel self conscious.

"Your so beautiful." Draco leaned in and whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. My breath caught in my throat. Could I really deserve something so perfect?

He kissed me again quickly before taking my hand again, and leading me to the dungeons. We walked into an empty class room, and sat down against the wall that was opposite the windows. Draco pulled me in front of him and wrapped his arms around me. We stayed like that for hours, just watching the storm. The lightning flashed and the thunder roared, but we stayed there. Sitting there with him made me believe that we had a fighting chance. We could make it through the storm.

That was my last thought, before I drifted off into the most restful sleep I could remember.

A/N: I'm SOOOO sorry about the time between updates. I just started a new job, and its been finals, so basically life just got in the way. Please don't beat me! And please, oh pretty please hit the lovely review button below. If you do, I promise the next update will be up within a week! Xo xo Alicia


	8. Liabilites

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything you recognize. But Jen is all mine!**

The sun was just rising when the rays of light came glimmering through the windows and right into my eyes. I woke disoriented, unsure of where I was at first. Then it hit me. I told Draco that I loved him last night. He kissed me in the middle of a thunderstorm, and then we lay here and watched the storm all night.

Just when I began to think that last night was just a dream, I realized that his arms were still wrapped around me. Surely it was all real. I smiled to myself, knowing I could lay here in his arms all day. Gently, so I didn't wake him, I twisted myself in his arms so I could see his face.

He was so… there wasn't even a word I could think of to describe how beautiful he was. His face was restful, in a deep, peaceful sleep. I knew we would have to leave soon. That I would have to wake him. What if he woke up and thought last night was a mistake? I pushed that fear away as quickly as it emerged. I lay my head against his chest, and the steady beating of his heart filled my ears. His scent was all I could smell, and it smelled wonderful.

I felt him begin to move underneath me, and realized he was waking. His eyes opened slowly, taking in his surroundings. He looked down at me, and a goofy grin spread wide across his face. "Good morning, beautiful."

I smiled into his chest. "Good morning."

He stretched underneath me, then scooped me up as he stood to his feet, placing me gently on the ground. "How did you sleep?" he asked with a smirk.

I couldn't help myself when I smiled back. "Wonderfully."

He leaned in and kissed my forehead. "Breakfast?"

"Actually, would you mind horribly if I went and took a shower, and put on some clean clothes first?"

"A shower does sound nice. Mind if I join you?" He added the last part with his arrogant Malfoy drawl. It's a good thing I knew he was kidding.

"No thank you. Meet me in front of the great hall in an hour?"

"I would meet you anywhere," he replied, his eyes burning with that passion again. I kissed him on the cheek, then took him by the hand and led him out of our magical hideaway. We walked together, hands linked until we reached our parting place.

I turned to walk away, and he held tighter to my hand. "I will see you in an hour," I said laughing. He kissed my hand. "I will miss you," he replied, letting go of my hand. I shook my head and blew him a kiss before turning to walk away.

It took me just five minutes to reach Gryffindor tower, and when I made my way into the common room, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all sitting in the chairs by the fire. They looked up at my entrance, and I was met with three stares. One hurt. One furious. One expecting. I stopped dead in my tracks. I hadn't thought about Harry at all. I had been so distracted with Draco.

"Well, are you going to say something, or stand there with your mouth open all day, Jen?" Ron spat at me. Hell no, I wasn't having this.

"What exactly do you want me to say? Obviously everyone here has already picked a side, so what is there for me to say?"

"Yeah, we aren't the only ones who've picked sides. What about you? Taking off after that git Malfoy. Whats that all about?" Harry said, his tone acidic.

"Oh, don't you dare play the victim, Harry James Potter. _You_ kissed _me_. Not the other way around. How can you blame me for not feeling the same as you do?" I was getting pissed. Quick.

"That still doesn't answer Harry's question. How come you took off after the git?"

"Ron, I don't have to answer to you. What does it matter? Yes, I took off after him. Because in the past two months I have fallen head over heels in love with him. How is that anyone's concern?"

Harry jumped to his feet. "You're choosing Malfoy, over me?"

"Why on earth would you want to be with me, Harry? I'm the daughter of a man you despise. A man you don't trust. And I already told you I just don't feel that way about you." I could feel my anger building, followed quickly by anxiety.

"Malfoy is a piece of trash. So if you want to be next in line to be his slut, then by all means Jen, go ahead. But don't say I didn't warn you."

Every emotion faded away. Every emotion but hurt. Aside from Draco, the closest friend I had made since coming to Hogwarts had just called me a slut. I could feel the world crashing down. And it was getting hard to breathe. I could feel the tears coming.

"HARRY!" Hermione screamed.

I took in a shaky breath, and looked him in the eye. "Well then, I guess this all just worked in your favor. No one would want the 'Chosen One's' reputation tarnished by being with a slut like me. So go, find someone worthy of you. Apparently, I never was. So quit wasting everyone's time." My tears broke free and were streaming down my face. I turned on my heel and went up the steps to the dorm. I could hear an argument breaking out between the three of them, and it seemed as though Hermione and Ron were defending me.

As quickly as I could, I ran into the showers, fearing Hermione would come after me, and I didn't want to talk right now. I couldn't talk right now. My head was spinning. So many things had changed in the past twenty-four hours.

In a single instant, I had dismantled a friendship. In a single instant, I had leapt from being friends with Draco, to something so much better. Everything was changing so quickly.

Change. I didn't welcome it. Every time I had ever seen this world change, it was for the worst. Every time I seen this world change, it meant seeing my parents come home from a meeting, unable to sleep for days. Every change in my life, even those that started out good, eventually became another cut. Another scar on the face of humanity. I started to wonder whether this war was even worth fighting anymore. Were people really capable of changing for the better? I had yet to see any proof.

Lost in my musings, my shower took nearly an hour itself. I was shocked when I walked into the dorm, and seen that I was supposed to meet Draco in three minutes. He would just have to wait, I thought smiling to myself.

I blow dried my hair with a spell, then put on a bit of mascara, and some chap stick. It was a Sunday. No uniform required. So I slipped on a pair of light washed denim jeans, and a black V-neck t-shirt, with some comfy shoes and left.

The whole way there I tried to forget about what had just transpired between Harry and I. I didn't want Draco to know. He would be furious. And there would be a fight. I was so distracted that I didn't know that I was outside the great hall until I walked right into Draco.

"Jen, what's wrong?" His voice was colored with anxiety. He studied my face, and I tried to hide the pain that I was feeling.

"Nothing," I lied. But I knew he didn't buy that. I didn't even believe myself. I was about to tell him I was just hungry, and lets go inside, when my mind found another problem.

Where would we sit? Even though there was no rules, everyone still sat with their own house, aside from a few people here and there. It was normal to see a Hufflepuff at the Gryffindor table, or a Ravenclaw at the Slytherin table, but a Gryffindor at the Slytherin table? Or vice versa. It was unheard of. And it was something I had never seen.

My instincts told me that especially after what happened this morning, that the Slytherin table was currently the best option for us. Even though I was a Gryffindor, my father was the head of Slytherin house, so I had never really been on bad terms with them, but we had never really been friends either. I wouldn't be unwelcome, but that didn't mean it wouldn't cause waves.

"Jen, you're upset. Please, please don't shut me out. Talk to me. Please." His eyes pleaded with me.

"Draco, its nothing, really. You would only get yourself into trouble if I told you, so lets just leave it be. Someone hurt my feelings this morning, but I will let it go. Lets just get something to eat, please?" He nodded his agreement, but his eyes were blazing with anger now. He wanted to hurt whoever had hurt me. That much was obvious.

He took me by that hand, and we walked into the great hall. Everyone, my parents included, stared. He started to pull towards the Gryffindor table, but I pulled him in the direction of the Slytherin table. "Jen, we can sit with your friends, its fine. I don't mind."

"No, no. Lets sit here. No offense, but you wouldn't be very comfortable at the Gryffindor table. They would all make sure of that. Besides, I know all of your friends already. Most of them don't mind me and I feel the same."

He kissed my cheek and smiled. "Okay."

We took the two empty seats across from Crabbe and Goyle. Both stared at us with wide eyes. I laughed. "Close your mouths or you will be single forever." They both laughed in agreement. I let out a sigh of contentment and relief. As long as they didn't start talking about all the death eater crap, they were really not so bad. I would deal with them for Draco. They were his friends.

The silence in the hall was finally broken, and everyone started talking again. Most of them talking about us. Draco seemed irritated, but I just smiled to myself. It wasn't worth it.

Once the initial awkwardness was past, conversation at our table flowed easily. We talked about classes, quidditch, and about a million other things. We were currently stuck on the topic of potions. We all had a double period tomorrow morning, and my father had warned us next class that there was going to be a test.

"No, I'm telling you, the lacewing flies come _after_ the boomslang skin, " Crabbe was arguing with Blaise, who had apologized to me since our last fight. We had been done eating for nearly an hour now, and were just talking. Draco's fingers were linked through mine on top of the table, and no one seemed to even notice or care.

"No, you idiot they don't! What do you want to blow your face off? Lacewing flies _first_." Blaise rolled his eyes theatrically. And then proceeded to smirk at me. I laughed at their heated debate.

Most everyone, professors included, had already left. Only a small fraction of us remained. Their were a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs left. The Gryffindor table had a few people including Harry, Ron and Hermione. The staff table was almost empty aside from Dumbledore, McGonagall, and my parents. Then their was our table.

The only few remaining, were Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, and then Draco and I. Crabbe looked at me for help. "Come on, Jen. Your dad is like the most brilliant potions master in all of Europe. Who is right? Tell Blaise gently though, he's fragile," He added in an overly loud whisper, making all of us laugh.

"Just because my father is a brilliant man, doesn't mean that I'm brilliant as well," I said sarcastically.

"You are brilliant. And beautiful," Draco said smiling at me, "so put them out of their misery, and just tell them who is right."

I blushed slightly. "Well traditionally, Blaise is right. But, some potioneers believe that adding a unicorn hair in between the lacewing flies and boomslang skin actually makes for a smoother transition though."

"Yeah, she is her fathers daughter," Blaise teased. "Never just a simple yes or no answer."

"Actually, that wasn't a yes or no question," I said sticking my tongue out at him.

I found myself surprised at how easy it was to get along with the Slytherins. They weren't the evil, foul minded people I thought they were. Maybe, just maybe, we all really were on the same side. Maybe it was possible that the world was capable of changing for the better. I smiled to myself.

"Jen," I heard my fathers voice behind me, "I need to talk to you."

I turned to face him. I couldn't read his mood, but he didn't seem angry. Draco tightened his grip on my hand, and I turned back to face him. "I will be right back," I promised, as I untwined my fingers from his and stood up.

My father lead the way to the chambers that resided behind the staff table. Dumbledore and my mother were both waiting. I stood there awkwardly not sure what to say. I knew that this was about Draco, but what were they going to say?

"Jen, I… I'm really sorry, but I don't think what you're doing is safe. For any of us." My father spoke. He did truly look sorry, but I didn't understand. What did he mean?

"Dad, what are you talking about? It's not safe? What do you mean?"

My mother answered my question. "You know the kind of lives we lead honey, and unfortunately Lucius isn't on the same side as we are. Draco may not be either. He could just be using you for information. And its not as if you could be honest with him. He cant know your real life."

Relief was what I felt. "Mom, Dad, you don't have to worry. Draco has known since last year that you really were on the good side. He walked in on a conversation between you two, or something. But that's not the point. The point is that Draco is on our side too. He wants to see Voldemort defeated. He really is on our side. And I love him."

Dumbledore smiled, but my parents looked troubled. "Jen, he is a huge liability. He already knows too much. For the sake of the war, this has to end. The damage may already be irreversible, what with your display at breakfast this morning…" My father said.

Now I was just angry. "Damn the war! Damn it all to hell! I have already sacrificed so much in the name of this never ending war, I refuse to give up anything else. I'm happy, does that not matter to you? Call me selfish, but I refuse to give him up. He is on our side." I stared them down defiantly. I wouldn't back down.

"Ah, young love," Dumbledore smiled. "Severus, Sarah, I see no reason to interfere. Draco poses no threat. Jen, can teach him Legilimency, and while Draco doesn't attend meetings, the only threat would be Lucius, and we all know what a terrible legilimens he is. Now, Jen, what do you think about the other boys? Are they committed to the dark side?" His piercing blue eyes pressed into mine .

"No. I don't think they are total lost causes. I think that they feel the way they do, because they have never seen any different. Draco has always been a big influence on them, I think if they seen him change, they would realize that what they're parents have taught them isn't right." I held my breath and waited anxiously for their response.

**AN: Again, sorry for the time between updates. Summers been pretty busy so far. But I feel like no one is reading this story. So Please PLEASE review and tell me what you think. Hopefully the next update will be soon. Reviews make me more excited to write… *HintHint* : P **


	9. Have Faith in Me

**Disclaimer: Yeah, taking out loans to pay for college. Therefore, its safe to assume that I own nothing you recognize : ) **

"Brilliant," Dumbledore answered. He smiled at me as if I had answered the most crucial question to the war. I Loved him, especially when he was taking my side, but he did seem a little off his rocker at times. "So now we put the new plan into action. Jen," he said looking at me, "The boys trust you. I could tell that much just from watching you all this morning. You need to start teaching Draco legilimency right away. Next, you will need to _slowly_ inch them over to our side."

I smiled and nodded, while suppressing the childish urge to stick my tongue out at my father who seemed flabbergasted.

"Albus, are you mad? Tell me that you believe there's a chance for the two of them, and I will call you a liar. How would it ever work? This is too dangerous," My father all but shouted.

Dumbledore surveyed him for a long moment. "It's funny that you should say that, Severus. I seem to remember people saying that about another young couple, years ago. They were crazy in love, and everyone told them it would never work. I believe you and Sarah are celebrating your 18th anniversary this year, are you not?"

The smug look was wiped right off my fathers face. My mother smiled. "You know, he's right, Severus. We were young and in love once. Maybe they have the same kind of passion we did. Maybe they can make it work."

My mother took my fathers hand. "Jen, go on back out. Enjoy the rest of the day, it's supposed to be a beautiful one."

"Thanks, Mom." I smiled and made my way out the door.

As soon as I emerged, I heard shouting. Draco and Harry were standing two feet apart, shouting at each other. I ran down the steps. Dumbledore and my parents stood at the edge of the staff table, willing them to resolve it themselves. What they neglected to understand, was that both of them had extremely short fuses.

I quickly placed myself between them. "Please stop, your both going to get detention, whatever it is just let it go."

"No, not when I _know_ he's the one who made you cry this morning. I overheard what he was talking about with Weasley and Granger, but I couldn't hear what he did. He's going to tell me," He added, glaring daggers at Harry.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Malfoy. Jen may be stupid enough to be your girlfriend, but that doesn't mean you own her. That was between me and Jen." Harry crossed his arms, and raised his chin defiantly.

I grabbed Draco's wand, just a mere second before he reached for it himself, and held it behind my back to keep him from doing something stupid.

"Draco, please don't, its not worth it. You will land in detention, and we wont be able to see each other. Do it for me. Please. I think its chivalrous, really, and he does deserve it. But if you love me, then please lets just walk away."

Harry made a disgusted sound at the word love. "And for the record, Malfoy," He taunted, "I didn't really intent to hurt Jen's feelings. I happen to _actually _care about her, and her well being. I told her that a no good piece of trash like you, would turn her into your slut of the month and then you'd turn her loose."

"Harry, your way out of line. If you cared about me like you say you do, you wouldn't insult Draco knowing how much I care for him. So you can stop being such a jerk, and come down off the pedestal that you _think_ you sit on, before I knock you off myself."

I grabbed Draco's hand and started pulling him towards the door. I wouldn't allow him to stand here and be insulted. He had already done more than I expected by not attacking Harry. I didn't want to push my luck.

But when I looked at Draco's face, it nearly killed me. Harry's insults had dug some sort of roots in him. He looked dejected.

"That's right!" Harry shouted as we were about five feet away. "Take her off and sleep with her like you have every other girl, Draco. You're a disgusting excuse for a human being."

At this I snapped. If Draco wouldn't defend himself, then I would. I reached around behind me fist raised, and swung at Harry as hard as I could. My parents and Dumbledore rushed forward, my father shooting a motion charm at me as he ran.

His charm hit me square in the chest and knocked me back into Draco's arms. I had to catch my breath, my fathers charm had hit me so hard it knocked the wind out of me. Once I had caught my breath, I tried to swing back up, but Draco locked his arms around me. "Draco, take her out of here. She's a fighter," Dumbledore told him almost smiling. I didn't find it the least bit amusing, as I was fighting the pointless battle of breaking Draco's grip. His arms were like steel guard rails around me.

At Dumbledore's orders, he swept me up bridal style, and carried me through the great hall. "Let me go!" I yelled, pounding on his chest.

"No, you will just get yourself into trouble. And for me. And that's not worth it. If you want to see him hurt for what he called you, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I cant let you get detention for me."

I stopped hitting him and looked at him astounded at what I had just heard. "You, stupid boy. You are _always_ worth it. You are worth _everything_." I looked him directly in his eyes, and silently pleaded with him to realize that we hadn't even been together for more than 24 hours, and he was already my everything. He had been since I came to Hogwarts. As this thought processed itself into my brain, my logical mind immediately shouted that this was irrational. But since when has love ever been a logical, rational thing?

We were outside now, and Draco gently perched me on a rock by the lake. He then stood in front of me and stared out into the lake not looking at me. "But, Jen, you should know, Harry's right. Pansy isn't the first girl that I have just been 'friends-with-benefits' with. Im not noble, and I'm not chivalrous. You have this picture of me as a knight in shining armor, and as much as I wish it was true, it's not. Harry wont be the only one to make judgments on you because of me. I just think you deserve to know the truth," he said turning to face me. His grey eyes were colored with fear and anxiety.

"Is that what you want from me, Draco? Someone to sleep with?" I asked, showing no emotion.

"Of course not! Jen, you are the only person I have ever said 'I love you' to. I meant it. I love you. I want to be a better person, and I'm a better person around you without even having to try. Its like this… this aura about you, that lets me tap into my better counterpart. I love you for you, but I love you even more for who I am when I'm with you."

I smiled to myself. Then I leap unceremoniously from the rock, and tackled him to the ground. He let out a small shout of surprise, but held me safely to him. I landed straddling on top of him.

"That is definitely the second most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me," I said smirking as I kissed the tip of his nose.

"Second! Not to sound like a prat, but that was pretty damn romantic, if I say so myself. But just out of curiosity, what's the first?"

"When I was dating Marcus, he just looked at me one night after a pretty horrible date, and said 'babe, you have a nice ass'…. That's my number one," I said barely managing to suppress my giggles, at the look on his face.

"You dirty little liar!" He accused as he reached up and mercilessly tickled me for teasing him. I screamed as he hit my most ticklish spots. "Please…. Stop…. Cant….. Breathe!" I begged in between giggles.

Finally, he stopped, and I collapsed on top of him. "I hate you and your tickling fingers," I mumbled in to his chest.

"That hurt my heart," he teased.

"Shhh…. Be quiet a minute." I lay my head against the left side of his chest and strained my ear, until I heard it. The steady, rhythmic beating of his heart. "I knew it was there all along," I whispered to him.

"What?" He asked, clearly thinking I was off my rocker.

"Your heart."

He sat up and kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist. It started soft and sweet, then became more passionate and aggressive. My arms snaked around his neck pulling him closer to me. I _needed_ him closer to me. We broke apart for air, and even then his lips left gentle kisses along my jaw and neck.

"It's yours. It beats for you," he whispered in my ear.

I felt like I was in a dream. This couldn't possibly be real. Things just didn't work out like this for me. Could Draco and I really play a major role in winning the war?

Draco started kissing my neck again, throwing off my train of thought. "Draco, if you give me a hickey I will punch you in the face," I said smiling, but totally serious. He chuckled slightly, then came up and kissed my lips briefly. Looking in my eyes, he knew I was distracted.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a worried tone.

I chewed on my bottom lip. "Well, I was given an assignment today. One that we have to complete together."

"Are you mad Jen? It's a Sunday. Who gives _homework_ on a Sunday?" He asked incredulously.

I smacked him on the head. "You prat, not that kind of an assignment. I mean, like a spy type of assignment for the war. Do you thing Crabbe and Goyle are fully committed to Voldemort?"

He thought for a moment. "No, I don't think so. I think that, like me, they just never thought that there was any other option. You changed that for me," he said, leaning in to kiss me.

"Stop, I cant be distracted, I'm thinking." I said softly.

"Why? What's all this about?"

"Well, Dumbledore and my parents, think that the two of us could be essential in the war. Could you just imagine it, Draco? What if we were the secret weapon, the key to winning the war? We could do it together, right? We could start recruiting the kids that Volemort is sure are on his side. Those who are willing at least, I wouldn't force anyone…" I trailed off, lost in my musings.

Looking up at Draco, I seen his eyes shining at the possibility. "Crabbe and Goyle have already been questioning their parents choices. They will be a cinch. I think we can even get Blaise. He would do anything you asked," he added with a smirk.

"Shut up. Your not funny," I said trying to suppress my grin.

He knew my remark was weightless. He wrapped his arms around me and just hugged me. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too. Always."

We sat in silence for a moment. Just the sound of our steady breathing and pounding heartbeats filled the air. "Do you think its really possible?" I asked breaking the silence.

"Do you believe in me, Jen?" He asked simply

"Yes, I believe in you."

"Then, yes. I think its possible. Just have faith in me. Have faith in me, and I know I can do anything. As long as you believe in me, nothings impossible for us."

Then I felt it, full force, for the first time, in a very long time. It filled me completely, warming me from the inside out. I had butterflies in my stomach. All because of him. All because of Draco. And as much as I loved him, this feeling wasn't love.

It was Hope. Draco had given me hope.

**A/N: Thanks to the few of you who reviewed last chapter, and all those who have put this story in your favorites and put it on alert. Please continue to stick with me, and I promise to keep writing. Please show me just how much you love this story by hitting the review button below. Im open to comments, suggestions, anything. I want your input. Next chapter should be up within the week. **


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